John Stamos is famous for protraying the character
of Uncle Jesse on the family sitcom "Full House"

Scott Baio is famous for protraying the charcters of Chachi Arcola
and Charles in the sitcoms "Happy Days" and "Charles in Charge"

THE FIGHT__________________________________

John Stamos, smoothly combs his hair while staring into the eyes of a brooding Scott Baio who sports his signature red bandana tied around his leg. They exchange some harsh words, but it isn’t until Baio mentions something about Stamos’ ex wife (Rebecca Romijn) that involved the words “fucked” and “Last Night” that makes the somber Stamos lunge at Baio. They scuffle on the ground where Stamos unleashes a wicked right hand in between Baio’s eyes which leaves him flabbergasted and flaying about on the ground. Stamos stands in the attempt to catch his breath then proceeds to walk over to a nearby box (which is filled with an assortment of weapons) and takes out a keno stick, Stamos smiles. Baio is able to get on his feet, but at this point is unable to defend himself for the harshness that is to come. Stamos throws down a hideous whack across Baio’s head where blood starts to gush out like a steaming geyser. Then comes another whack, this time, around the ribs and then another whack to the spinal cord. Stamos then drops the kendo stick and lets out a giddy, “have mercy”. He then picks up Baio to his feet until there face to face. Baio is a bloody mess and Stamos smiles like one sick bastard, when suddenly Baio spits out a large quantity of blood into Stamos’ face that makes him stagger to the side. Baio, with a sudden burst of adrenaline, backdrops Stamos onto the cement floor. Then lets out combinations of lefts and rights until Stamos’ blood his drenched all over his fist. An elbow drop to the lower back, Stamos screams in agony. Baio then unties his red bandana, wraps it around Stamos’ neck and then proceeds to pull, in the hopes to choke Uncle Jesse out. Stamos, on the ground with his hands free, searches the floor for something he can use. Gasping, He is able to locate a steel clothes hanger and blindly swings it behind his head where its tip finds its way into Baio’s right eyeball. Baio, in extreme pain releases Stamos from his chokehold. Baio stands still in a state of shock and says with blood still pouring out of his mouth “There’s a fucking hanger sticking out of my eye, I think I need to go the hospital”. Stamos then pulls the hanger out along with the eye which then dangles out of Baio’s eye socket like a ball and paddle. Stamos then tosses Baio to the floor and once again walks over to that nearby box. Baio lies on the ground still in shock over his eye, which he is now holding. Stamos takes out a stuffed pink pig (much like the one Michelle gave to Uncle Jesse on that one episode of Full House) and walks back over to Baio where he mocks him. Stamos then drops the pig to reveals a blowtorch. Baio then kicks Stamos in the groin, he drops the blowtorch, and Baio picks it up and torches Stamos’ head. Stamos runs off screaming “not the hair, not the hair”. Baio gets up and staggers around for a bit, while Stamos tries to extinguish the blaze of flame atop of his head. Baio then chargers at Stamos knocking him into that box full of weapons. Stamos lands uncomfortably on a pile of sporks. Baio begins to work on the left knee of Stamos, hammering incisively at it with the DVD box of the complete first season of Full House. From that, Baio performs a standing leg lock while Stamos, still with a pile of sporks hanging off of his back, winces in pain. Stamos grabs one of the sporks and is able to stab Baio’s Achilles tendon, which makes Baio fall to the ground. Stamos then once again picks up that bloody kendo stick and strikes away with numerous furious baseball swings to Baio’s back, ribs, and practically everywhere else. Stamos then stands over Baio, both men covered in blood, Stamos still steaming with the stench of burning flesh and the considerable amount of lost hair while Baio lies motionless with numerous broken bones and an eyeball straddling the cement floor. Stamos beings to slowly walk away with the feeling that he as won this fight, when suddenly Baio springs at Stamos as both men fall to the ground. Baio then takes his fallen out eyeball and shoves it into Stamos mouth where he beings to gag and choke. Baio stares into the eyes of Stamos and with a sinister smile says “Don’t you know that I’m fucking in charge!” Stamos blacks out. Baio, extremely bloody, gets up and does a Fonzie like “eh!”

WINNER:

Scott Baio